Thank you, Captain Obvious

As a basic generalization, Dominicans are extremely observant. And they love comparisons. When Jordan was here visiting, almost every single person that we passed by told me that Jordan was taller than me. Then they went to look at the pictures in my photo album and they told me that Jordan has always been taller than me. I was already aware of this fact, but they love to state the obvious. After Jordan left, a 6-year-old girl came up to me and told me that Jordan and I have the same feet. When I asked what she meant, she replied that we both use red nail polish and our toenails rise up.

Another example of their observant nature: Everyday I get an update on my weight from all of my neighbors. “Lauren, tu eres más gorda hoy.” (You’re fatter today) or “Lauren, tu eres demasiado flaca. Tu estás moriendo.” (You’re too skinny. You’re wasting away.) And while it’s nice to know that all of my neighbors are paying close attention to my eating habits and my health, hearing about how fat I’ve gotten in the past 24 hours gets a little old.

Other comments that I’ve recently gotten:

• “Wow Lauren, you sure are sweating a lot.” (I heard this from multiple people as I returned from my morning run.)
• “Lauren’s nose is very thin and pointy.” (This was not said directly to me, but was said as if I was not even in the room. I was in fact sitting next to the person talking.)
• "Lauren, did you know that you have love handles?” (Yes, I did know this.)
• "Lauren, you didn’t wash your hair today.” (No, I didn’t. Is it that obvious?)

Seriously, when recruiting Peace Corps volunteers for the Dominican Republic, there should be a disclaimer: Self-conscious people need not apply.

Ok, so Dominicans are observant. But ironically, they think all blonde-haired, fair-skinned people look exactly the same: like me. I was watching a movie that had Claudia Schiffer in it, and they told me that I could be Claudia Schiffer’s twin. This was extremely flattering, especially since they just got done telling me that I’ve gained weight. And they think all Americans look the same: blonde-haired, blue-eyed. They are shocked when they come across a picture of an American with African or Asian heritage, and it’s impossible to convince them that they are American. Or even just extremely tan people (like Shannon and Liz), they don’t believe are Americans because they don’t look like me.